What Everyone Thinks About on the Amtrak

As I sit here on this Amtrak to Chicago for the second time in as many months, I can't help but think of those old Buzzfeed lists I used to read sometimes about "Everything thought on" or "while"...
There has to be a comment or two said about the Amtrak! I can't be the only one thinking these things, right? Everyone does at one point- and if you didn't think them before, you will next time. Not sorry.

Detroit's Milwaukee station is pretty small, and the drinking fountain water smells like a bathroom. Glad I remembered to bring my own bottle this time. Exactly on time, here is the train. But quick, stand up and gather your things, because we have about ten minutes of standing in the stairwell to do!

Allow me to change formatting to be more listacle than paragraph, as these are my thoughts and this is how I mentally see them:

  • I opted to not get the quiet train because I have work calls to make. But the loud voice of the lady behind me is even hitting my ears through headphones turned all the way up. Inside voices, people. Mayhaps I chose unwisely.
  • What's that smell? Burning oil?
  • I can't remember if it's cold on the train or what. 
  • This is def not picturesque Michigan.
  • Is it so hard to not laugh out loud, why did I decide to start watching Jake Gyllenhall on Jimmy Fallon? It's physically hurting not to laugh out loud right now.
  • Oh, here's my boss video calling- where the fuck do headphones go in this laptop?
  • Yep. I've never had to mute a video call before for work, but that lady is so loud that nobody could hear one another through my computer. Cool, that's cool. Five hours to go with that.
  • I hate when they open the doors. Not only is it cold, but I am not in the mood for people, nor do I want to have to share my bench. This is my arm space.
  • What a weird shape this rain splatter drip is making on the window. 
  • How is that lady's voice penetrating Dropkick Murphys on full blast directly in my ears??? HOW!?! 
  • At least people have kept their shoes on so far. 
  • I still don't understand why sweatpants are a substitute for actual pants in public. 
  • All I hear are other people's crinkly wrappers and cracking water bottle noises. Heaven bless the inventor of headphones.
  •  And Jen, the loud one, has moved- I heard her *whisper* her name to someone. Through headphones. With her hand cupping her mouth in a whispering motion. Why bother, Jen?
  • Battle Creek should smell like Post cereal. Why doesn't it??
  • The girl across me from also has Cheez-its. Good. 
  • I'm still 100% the person on a road trip pointing out every cow and sheep I see. 
  • Remember when the Dementors came? That was pretty terrible. 
  • How would the Passports look for wizards going from Kings Cross to Hogwarts? If they are already living in Scotland do they still need to go to London to catch the train? Is there some sort of Hogwarts carpool lane otherwise?
  • Why is the light in the bathroom yellow-green? Why can't it be a normal illumination that is less awkward in that tiny box? Are we trying to accentuate an off-putting moment like in theatre?
  • Are we on fire? It smells bad again. Brake fluid?
  • Why is it 100 degrees colder now than it was five minutes ago? 
  • Dementors?
  • Did that abandoned house graffiti just flip me off?
  • Cow!
  • Do these chairs recline or am I just in a broken one? I'm scared to find out...
  • I didn't hug my cats long enough this morning. 
  • Oh shit. I think someone just fell over in the bathroom. 
  • Is it raining in the bathroom?? What's that noise? Did he die?
  • I think they're fine because they door is open now. WHEW!
  • Looking out the train window makes me feel like that dog in Dr Dolittle. 
  • Line. Line. Line. Tree. Tree. Tree.
  • Is that someone's gum? How long has the gum been there? Did I touch the gum?
  • A color update or a little spruce might not kill Amtrak...
  • Does that train say "coke express"?
  • I think I'm the only one not napping. 
  • What ever happened to Ben Jelen?
  • I'm worried about the monarch butterflies. Maybe I should plan some milk weed this spring. 
  • I wonder what this stain is...
  • Oh my gosh this is the slowest anything has ever moved ever. (say that like Ross Geller)
  • I wonder if people ever get embarrassed by the state of their backyards, as seen from a train window. I'm seeing a lot of Playskool playsets on the ground.
  • Did someone toot?
  • Cause it smells like farts. 
  • We are not in a large enough box for farting, you guys! It is not cute!
  • Ohh, that's a neat looking abandoned building right off the tracks here! 
  •  I feel like I've been on this train for more than 5 hours. 
  • How have I only seen one cow? Is it too cold for cows?
  • #TomsBistro
  • Are we there yet?
  • Does everyone have a Nintendo switch but me?
  • It's gotta be brake fluid that smells, it's only at stations that it starts to smell like I'm on fire. 
  • How much longer it's been an eterni- oh we're here already? I'm not ready yet! 
  • Look at my mess of cords and bags!!
  • Shoot. 
Thar she blows. Imagine many more work related or incoherent back and for the in between and about 100 songs pumping through my ears. I'm betting on one or two more trips riding the rails this year, but I'd love some tips on keeping the hours more entertaining. Did I miss any thoughts here? Leave some thoughts below! 

Be kind out there. This cold is making us sour!


  1. LOL - your thoughts jump around like mine do! I think there must be a "Jen" on every form of transportation.

    1. There has to be, right?? Token loud mouth? Thing was, she was only about 5 feet tall! It's always the shorties!

  2. The hugging your cats enough thought I can relate to haha.
    I love reading posts like this because it shows me I am not alone with my weird thoughts! :)

    Thank you so much for sharing!
    Fran x

    1. Thank you! I used to love these styles on buzzfeed because they seemed more human, right?

  3. I laughed so hard reading this! You're hilarious!

  4. Haha I love this, I think we have most of these thoughts every day!

    1. Haha likely! I work with all dudes so you know someone's always farting!

  5. It was too early in Dearborn, but at 7 AM on a time travelling train heading into Chicago I am not the only person drinking a warm chardonnay from a Michigan Winery with an overmicrowaved Jewish hotdog & White Castle.

  6. haha I loved reading this. Awesome content!

  7. Great post. I have so many thoughts when I’m sat on our trains

    Tasha x


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